so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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