Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
be right there i have to get my cape
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
