Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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