sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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