It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
