I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
