with your own penis?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
