she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
