just come out here and I will go home with you...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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