Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
