I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
