I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
