I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
