Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
