they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
