And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
