Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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