Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
