Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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