It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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