if you like me you must not know who I am
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
