How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
