I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
