girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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