You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the condom got lost in my hair
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
