i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Drunk is not a location!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
