But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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