the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
