its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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