Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
