FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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