I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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