I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize