just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
two words...techno handjob
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
