You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
