ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize