Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize