I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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