If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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