One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize