She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
