currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We are two peas in an std pod
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dick very happy bro
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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