If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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