id be glad to
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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