I hope mine doesn't look like that
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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