P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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