I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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