No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
