Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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