I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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