i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
