Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
In the future we'll all be gay
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
