I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
