there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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