my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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