kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
