"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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