After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
