i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize